Having Children

Subject: Having Children Sun Aug 28, 2011 6:12 pm

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Subject: Re: Having Children Sun Aug 28, 2011 6:46 pm

Well Hollee,

My husband is Muslim and I am Christian. Because both of us believe that we believe in the existence of the same God, and are open to the same moral ideas, we have decided to raise our children under these terms, and let them choose the details later on in life.

I also want our children (we would love to have two girls, Inshallah) to be taught to question things for themselves and to make their own decisions about everything. I don't really approve when children are raised to believe whatever they are taught and go through life without tying to figure things out for themselves (in religion or just in life).

There is a great church that I went to a few weeks ago called a Unitarian Universalist Church. It is a place of worship where people gather from all different religions, such as Christianity, Islam, Judaism, even Buddhists and Hindis show up. The "church" focuses on teaching the children about good moral behavior, earth conservation, and there are special segments where children of the three monotheistic groups may gather together to worship God. I think that this would be the perfect environment to raise our children. It would give them the positive atmosphere that they would need, without focusing on religious details, allowing them to grow up and decide for themselves.

Of course, I don't think that it could be denied that we all want our children to be like us in our religious views, but the best we can do is teach them what we can and send them on their way. I am nervous about it, to be honest, because it all seems like it would be pretty smoothe sailing in that department at the moment, but I know that there is no way that it would be that easy.

As far as the cultural aspects go, we want to raise our kids in the US, so they will have a good education. The education system in Egypt is outrageously horrible. At the same time, I would love for my children to not only know about American and Egyptian culture, but cultures all over the world. If we have the money, we want to travel the world and introduce them to a little bit of everything.

One thing that I've found with Egyptian children is that they're spoiled rotten. No Egyptian that I have met thus far has ever told a child no. No mother has ever disciplined her child, and no father would dare to step in. I one time watched a small boy pelt a stray, boney dog with big rocks and chunks of cement, while the mother smiled and pointed at him saying, "Isn't he adorable?" to her friends. That story is what I use to describe the raising of children in Egypt (in general), because I saw so many situations like that.

I have spoken with my husband about the importance of discipline, and the difference it makes in the children. Most Egyptians still act spoiled. They, in general again, want what they want and they want it when they want it. They want lots of material items, especially the men. The women are very focused on outward appearences and money, so much so that the majority use this to choose their spouse. I believe that this stems from how the children there are raised. Not that America is perfect, but in most cases, compared to Egypt, people in the US have a lot more respect for one another than Egyptians do. It may look nice on the outside looking in, but when you really get into the Egyptian culture, you realize that people don't respect each other, and that that lack of respect really makes everyone more like enemies than friends. It's every man for himself in Egypt, and though many Egyptians claim that to be the fault of the government, I blame the parents.

Anyway, all that to say that talking about the importance of discipline with your Egyptian part is really important in making sure that your children are raised well, unless you just want them to be spoiled, lol. Razz

Subject: Re: Having Children Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:17 pm

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Subject: Re: Having Children Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:21 pm

I thought I would reply, since I have a different situation that others may share...

My fiance and I are both Christian....However, he is Coptic Orthodox (Coptic means Egyptian). For those of you who do not know, Coptic Christians (members of the Oriental Orthodox Church) are NOT allowed to marry any other Christian denomination (there are works in the future to allow Coptic and Greek to marry). Both MUST be baptized in the Coptic Orthodox faith to get engaged or married. So technically, in Egypt, we are not engaged...I need to be baptized and have the Engagement Ceremony and Party.

I have studied the Coptic faith, and have spoken with the Coptic Orthodox priest in my area...so when I move to Egypt, I will be baptized at the Coptic church before the Engagement and Wedding Ceremonies. I should mention that my fiance and his family, although baptized Coptic, attend a Protestant church because they love the worship service, great music, youth programs, and welcoming atmosphere. But, like I said before, it is not allowed to marry outside the church, so they marry at the Orthodox Church. This is common. Many of those who attend the Protestant churches are actually Orthodox.

Because we will share the same religion, the children will be baptized Coptic Orthodox. We will be raising them in America, a big reason being what Claire mentioned, education...but also for more religious freedoms. After hearing my fiance say he had to go through 2 security checks to enter the street his church was on due to threats and recent events, I would be so scared to put my children in that situation. I know things like this do not happen all the time in Egypt...but when thinking of my children's future, I must consider things like this.

Luckily, we have many Coptic Churches in Florida. The children will attend our local church with us, and from time to time I imagine we will attend a Baptist church to enjoy another form of worship. That pretty much sums up the religious aspect.

About raising the children, we tend to think similarly...I have yet to notice any big differences...but I know things will arise in the future that we disagree on, things that we never thought to discuss. But you know what they say, "happy wife, happy life" - okay okay, I'm just joking, but I couldn't resist Wink

hehe.

Regarding discipline...It is a MUST! Sure they will be my little prince and princesses, but NO means NO, and manners are VERY important. And pelting rocks at dogs is a BIG NO NO Wink

lol. I can tell you now, they will be spoiled by us (and their grandparents), but the moment they show it, the spoiling stops! I know my fiance agrees with this subject...I've seen him around his niece and young cousins Wink

About the American/Egyptian roots...we want them to know BOTH sides. Even thought they will be in America, we want them to know all about their Egyptian roots. Luckily, they will be attending the Egyptian Coptic Church here so they will be raised around MANY Egyptian people, many of which have lived most of their lives in Egypt. Also, I pray that in the future, we have the means to travel and visit Egypt many times with the children. They have to see their beautiful Egyptian family! I think the babies will know there way around Skype by the time they're 2 lol. Also, we will be teaching them both Arabic and English. And neither will be number 1. Of course we'll be in America so English is important...but they will be raised speaking BOTH regularly. And when dad is holding up flash cards, I'll be sitting right there next to the kids raising my hand and learning with them! But, I think they'll have me beat in no time haha. My fiance wants them to speak German also (just like daddy)...but I think that's a bit much for a toddler lol...MAYBE when they are a little older Smile

I must say, I know all of us girls are going to have the most beautiful Egyptian babies Smile

I hope Hollee gets her 2 babies (one being a girl for your 6 yr old's sake)...and that Claire and Mo get those 2 beautiful girls!

My fiance wants 2 children, boy or girl...but he really would love for one to be a sweet little girl. As for me, the number is negotiable lol. Can't be only 1, 2 or 3 is ideal, and being surprised with 4 or 5 is fine by me hehe. I've told my fiance that we can't stop until we're blessed with a boy AND a girl...he just shakes his head, but I think I'll win this one Smile

I think in a year or two we'll be starting an Egy American Mommy forum...maybe sooner if this topic gets some of us a little too eager lol.

Having Children 212341157v4_480x480_Front_Color-CloudWhite

Having Children 212341157v4_480x480_Front_Color-CloudWhite

Subject: Re: Having Children Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:51 pm

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Subject: Re: Having Children Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:56 pm

Haha, I just commented the other day that American-Egyptian kids are really beautiful. Smile

We haven't talked about namees (we figure, one step at a time). We both want lots of pets, so I think those will come first and we'll ease ourselves into kids. We had this cat in Sharm, and I just showed up at home with him one day, and my husband answered the door and was like, "What are you holding?" Haha, he said the cat absolutely couldn't stay in the bed with us, and that night he was sleeping on my husband's face. Razz

With as little care as a lot of Egyptians have about names, I'm not worried that we won't agree. He seems to think that everything that I do is brilliant, and naming things is at the top of the list.

Whew! All of this talk of kids is wearing me out!

Subject: Re: Having Children Sun Aug 28, 2011 10:06 pm

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Subject: Re: Having Children Sun Aug 28, 2011 10:11 pm

lol, all my husband talks about is getting a German Shephard... Shocked

What kind of dog does Hosam want?

Subject: Re: Having Children Sun Aug 28, 2011 10:17 pm

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Subject: Re: Having Children Sun Aug 28, 2011 11:27 pm

Aw, cute! I wanted a husky my whole life, until I saw a Samoyed, and now I'm bound and determined to have one.

Subject: Re: Having Children Mon Aug 29, 2011 1:22 am

I have to comment about names Smile

Since I was a little girl, I've been thinking about what names my children will have lol...and guess what...I met a man who has thought about this also hehe. So we have def had this conversation!

The names we have discussed are American sounding names, but Arabic origin. This idea started when Peter mentioned the name he wanted for a girl. He said he wants a Kinzy. I thought that because he meets lots of foreign women at work, he had met an American girl named Kinzie, short for McKenzie. But when I asked him, he said Kinzy in Arabic is like your prized possession or something sooo valuable to you. Of course when he said that I about fainted from the sweetness lol. So if we have a girl, she will be named Kinzy, and will be our prized possession Wink

Because the name sounds American, but is Arabic origin, we decided we would do the same for the boy. So, drumroll please...we have picked out Kadin. But ever since we discussed it, I can't tell you how many little boys and girls I've seen here with the same name! I also like the name Kamran (said like Cameron)...again, Arabic origin, American sounding. The more I think about it, the more I lean towards Kamran Smile

Notice a theme with the letter "k"? hehe.

Ashley in Dahab! ----------------> Sun Bathe

Subject: Re: Having Children Mon Aug 29, 2011 1:41 am

I just remembered something! Y'all are going to think I'm crazy...but one day I actually googled Egyptian American to see if I could see pictures of babies and children hahaha. And, I found a Facebook group. It's a group for half Egyptians, half something else. They have some very interesting discussions on the board, like what it's like being raised by an Egyptian and a foreigner lol. These people are funny with some of the things they talk about. Really gives you insight on what our children will experience with the two cultures. They also had a topic about what nationality people think you are lol...I think many said people thought they were Italian or Greek. I encourage you to check out the group (and look at pics too...many of the wall comments tell you what the "something else" is).

facebook.com/groups/19214095840/ (Copy and Paste....can't post links yet)

Subject: Having Children Mon Aug 29, 2011 8:32 am

Oh yes ash ... i looked also and found another facebook page.. Half Egyptian Half Irish.. Beautifullll right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What can i say, its the irish half that boasts such wonderful genes...

Subject: Re: Having Children Mon Aug 29, 2011 4:11 pm

missirish wrote:: Oh yes ash ... i looked also and found another facebook page.. Half Egyptian Half Irish.. Beautifullll right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What can i say, its the irish half that boasts such wonderful genes...

hahahahaha you're too funny Mandy! Ana mowafka (I agree)! It's those Irish genes that make the beauty off the charts lol. I'm most looking forward to my babies having that beautiful tan skin. But our poor kiddies are going to have little fros...between my curly frizzy hair (you can't tell because I straighten it to death) and daddy's ridiculously curly locks! They'll be so cute, but mommy's going to have a lot of hair maintenance on her hands lol...I can just picture the knots now hehe

Subject: Re: Having Children Mon Aug 29, 2011 4:30 pm

in
Oh i pity the child and the hours of excruciating hair brushing!!!!!!!!!!!! Please Ash leave the GHD hair straighter at home.. I can imagine you lauching the GHD straightener on the Egyptions, i imagine peter on billboards flicking his perfectly straightened GHD locks !!!! i joke of course...

Subject: Re: Having Children Mon Aug 29, 2011 4:45 pm

missirish wrote:: in
Oh i pity the child and the hours of excruciating hair brushing!!!!!!!!!!!! Please Ash leave the GHD hair straighter at home.. I can imagine you lauching the GHD straightener on the Egyptions, i imagine peter on billboards flicking his perfectly straightened GHD locks !!!! i joke of course...

[color=orange]Noooooo, I'm bringing my flat iron...it WILL be the FIRST thing I pack! hehehe. And you think you're joking, but I've already told Peter I'm getting my straightener and going to town on his hair lol.

AND, a while back, we were talking about a fauxhawk (like mohawk but with hair on the sides too)...he used to have one, as did all of his guy friends lol. I LOVE fauxhawks and have seen a picture of him from a couple years ago with one. SEXY! Anyways, I said I wanted to see it again. So, I was able to convince his sister (my partner in crime) to go get her flat iron and give him one hahaha. And he was a very good sport about it!

[size=12]I'm so lucky to have a man who puts up with my craziness. That's true love when a man lets you and his sister play beauty parlor with him I love you

Subject: Re: Having Children Mon Aug 29, 2011 5:22 pm

missirish wrote:: Oh yes ash ... i looked also and found another facebook page.. Half Egyptian Half Irish.. Beautifullll right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What can i say, its the irish half that boasts such wonderful genes...

Mandy...

Look what a guy said on the Egy Irish group wall...it made me think of you...this will be your future children...

"You fekkin HABIBI's HABITI's lol!

Salaam and drink up... wahad guiness ::S

Benesuif and Galway rap rap."

ahahahahahahahahaha

*Most of the people look 80 to 100% Irish... I hope they have some daddy in them...our men are too handsome to leave out of the gene pool

Subject: Re: Having Children Mon Aug 29, 2011 6:54 pm

IMSHIIII ashleyyyyy Sniff sniff (crying)

well wha can i say.. these irish genes are strong... dont be whining about the irish gene pool at all..ye are only jealous hahahahahahahhah

You fekkin HABIBI's HABITI's lol!

Subject: Re: Having Children Mon Aug 29, 2011 8:10 pm

You guys are so touching, with your playful bashing and self-gratification stories.

I play beauty parlor all the time, because I cut Mohamed's hair. Smile

I've learned lots of different tricks of styling that he's taught me, and the curly hair this is funny. My hair is silky and straight, you can't do anything with it except leave it down (even when I put it up my clips slide out). I have NO idea what our kids would look like. We both hope they get my hair though, instead of -->>> afro

Mixed babies are so pretty, and usually have amazing skin. Sometime in the future, we should start a "Why you SHOULD be with an Egyptian" list and put pictures of the kids as one of the reasons. Smile