Egyptian Mother-in-laws

Subject: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 12:20 am

Just wanting to see what the falling for love users have to say about meeting their Egyptian Mother-in-law for the first time? I have seen my mother-in-law to be via skype and even then I get so shy and embarrassed LOL Embarassed

My love tells me I have nothing to worry about, that she is a very loving person. He tells me with my silly jokes and attempts at speaking arabic that she will be laughing a lot with me..He tells me that he knows his mom is going to love me as he does..But still...I am so nervous to meet her person to person... affraid

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 12:51 am

Awwww, don't be nervous! I'm sure you have nothing to worry about! I bet he tells her the sweetest things about you, so she probably loves you already!

I met my future MIL (via Skype) a month after my fiance and I started talking. She only speaks Arabic, with the exception of hello Ashley, good morning, good night, I miss you, and I love you. So, I speak with her what little Arabic I know, and the rest is translated by my fiance. His Mom is so sweet, and just like your MIL, she loves to laugh. I was nervous before I started talking to her, but soon after, I got over that. Now, we talk frequently, and she tells me she has two daughters...his sister and me His Mom and I see each other a lot, so I imagine when I see her in person, it will be more excitement and happiness than nerves and shyness. Hopefully you can talk to your MIL more and more before you go to Egypt...so that by the time you see her face to face, you will already feel so close to her.

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 12:53 am

Oh, and I don't know about you, but part of the nerves for me was being on camera. I get so shy on the webcam! I think that if it were in person, it would be a much more enjoyable experience.

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 1:17 am

Hmm.. the MIL!! Haha, I've heard so many stories about MIL's. Not just from Egyptian-American relationships, but from American-American relationships! I guess there is this void that we all feel that we have to fill, which puts a lot of pressure on us.

When I met my MIL for the first time, she smiled really broadly and gave me a very big hug and then I got lots of kisses on the cheeks (Which I WAS NOT expecting). Haha, try getting pumbled with kisses when someone forgot and left that part out of your "Everything you need to know before you meet the family" talk.

She's always been super sweet with me. When I was there, I didn't feel like a stranger, or even a guest. Actually, she even cleaned my teddy bear's clothes. Smile

Now that I'm here in the US, she's always trying to joke with me, and I remember the first time I visited my husband in his village and stayed with his family and had to go back to the US for college, she cried and cried when I had to leave, and I was honestly shocked at how attached she could be to me after only a short period of knowing her.

I don't remember being nervous the first time that I met her. We went from the airport in Cairo directly to the car and then had a four hour drive to the beach, where his mom was waiting for us in a condo, plus we stopped in Mansoura to have lunch, so by the time we arrived to even meet the rest of Mohamed's family, we had already spent time together and had a chance to relax. That was probably really a good thing, because it gave us all time to settle our stomachs, instead of having everything hit us at once.

All in all, I really love my MIL and we have a great relationship. If I could give any advice to anyone, it would be to be quiet in the beginning. Quiet in Egypt shows that you are a respectful girl (basically that you're not the type to sleep around). Since we already have a reputation as Westerners to be of that sort of culture, it's even more important for us to try to abide (at least at first) almost strictly by the rules of the culture. Coming in and acting like we might act here, loud to the point of being obnoxious and very over the top to show we're having a good time, might give your MIL the wrong impression. On the other hand, Egyptians love to be loud when the time is right. Dress appropriately and show your MIL how much you love her son. Smile

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 2:32 am

Misr_is_Love wrote:: If I could give any advice to anyone, it would be to be quiet in the beginning. Quiet in Egypt shows that you are a respectful girl (basically that you're not the type to sleep around). Since we already have a reputation as Westerners to be of that sort of culture, it's even more important for us to try to abide (at least at first) almost strictly by the rules of the culture. Coming in and acting like we might act here, loud to the point of being obnoxious and very over the top to show we're having a good time, might give your MIL the wrong impression. On the other hand, Egyptians love to be loud when the time is right. Dress appropriately and show your MIL how much you love her son.

I totally understand what you're saying...and I'm sure this is true with some or most families...but this is a great point to show that not everyone is the same, and not all families act alike. I must say that this is the opposite from my fiance's family. They treat me like I am their daughter and sister, part of the family. I am ALWAYS joking with his brothers. One of his brothers and I call each other magnoon and magnoona, and are forever going on and on about how we are going to hit each other "Ana hadrabak". I have been informed by him (and his fiance) that as soon as I get off the plane, I need to take care! LOL. I have told him that I will have airport security waiting for him! And like always, I hear Mom giggling in the background. Really makes me smile to hear her laugh.

His Mom and I often joke with each other. She tells me I am gamila, so I say "Enty akter". She smiles. We joke about her loving me more than Peter lol. My fiance told me to call her "mozza" one day. She laughed and blushed and thought it was the cutest thing to hear me say that. As a matter of fact, Peter and I were teasing each other the other day, and she heard me say "Be quiet boy" in Arabic...She laughed like that was the funniest thing she ever heard. She LOVES to hear me act like one of her kids, and LOVES that they treat me like I'm their sister.

I think if I was more reserved, we would not be as close. So, it goes to show how different people and families can be. I think I'm "mahzouza gedan" that I was blessed with such a wonderful family...one that I can be myself around, one that is not at all strict, and one that makes me feel comfortable (no walking on eggshells). Never once has Peter told me to not do this or that around the family, or to say this and not that. If anything, I think he tries to get me in trouble sometimes....telling me to tell them things...like I'll hit them, or calling them hotties, or to go sit in the corner lol.

And about the clothing hehehe...I think I am more modest than they are (my sister-in-laws). Not that they are inappropriate...it's just that they dress just like any American girl would, and at times, they wear things that I would never

But, I'm sure after meeting the family, you can see what type of personalities they have. If they are strict, you'll know it...if they are cut ups, you'll know it. But either way, I'm sure Mom will love you if she sees how much you care for her son, and how much he cares for you

I just had to post this because I used to always see things on the internet that tell you all about the MIL or Egyptian families. If I went by what I read, I would be scared to death to meet the family! lol. Just like in America, every family is different. There is no set rule that Mom will not like the foreign wife, or that being with the youngest son is a nightmare because it's Mama's baby, or that you need to watch out for the oldest brother because he runs the family, etc etc...I've read all of these "warnings" plus more before. These people have never met MY Egyptian family!

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 2:34 am

Misr_is_Love wrote:: She's always been super sweet with me. When I was there, I didn't feel like a stranger, or even a guest. Actually, she even cleaned my teddy bear's clothes.

That's soooo cute, Claire! That's a good Mama! Enty mahzouza!

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 11:10 am

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 11:22 am

Hi Hollee... My love also told me something similar to this. His father has past too. He told me if his father was alive that he would be married to an Egyptian woman with a bunch of kiddos. He is the eldest of his sisters and brother. I don't know if that has something to do with him being able to choose a wife of his choice no matter foreign or not? Every thing happens for a reason. I am so happy that I have him in my life as I am sure you are happy to have your love in your life too I love you

Love your picture!! You two look great together Very Happy

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 11:27 am

Thank you

lanita1000 wrote:: Hi Hollee... My love also told me something similar to this. His father has past too. He told me if his father was alive that he would be married to an Egyptian woman with a bunch of kiddos. He is the eldest of his sisters and brother. I don't know if that has something to do with him being able to choose a wife of his choice no matter foreign or not? Every thing happens for a reason. I am so happy that I have him in my life as I am sure you are happy to have your love in your life too Love your picture!! You two look great together

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 6:39 pm

Are we talking about the same word? Magnoon, like crazy? haha. To them it is not considered a dirty word. It's the same to them as us cutting up with someone calling them crazy. They joke a lot, but are definitely not the type to say dirty words. Maybe magnoon has a different meaning in different areas of Egypt. A good example is when I told Peter yesterday's word, KHISHTA, he told me they don't use it, and I should forget it LOL. He also said what it meant about a girl, and said it was a bad word to say. So, I thought that was funny, how to some it is simply a slang for cool or good, but to him, is not the best choice of word (Perhaps any respectful Egyptian Christian family would never allow the term "khishta" in their house LOL, sorry, I had to say it). I'm loving this forum, cause it's doing exactly what we want it to. Showing that each Egyptian is unique. And what is norm for one, is completely foreign for the next.

And, yes, I have seen a big difference between what I have read, and what I have experienced being in a relationship with a Coptic Christian. To tell you the truth, it is quite different than I thought it would be. When I first met Peter, I already had certain ideas in my head (not really ideas, just stereotypes/generalizations people like to make)...things that I had heard before, which none rang true. I guess the best way to put it, from what I have learned, is that Peter and his family are very "westernized" compared to the families and people I have read about...as are most of their Christian friends.

I agree I am charting new territory lol. And, if I ever try to learn things about Copts, it's hard to find much current information about the real Coptic Church in Egypt. Sure, I can read about the history, etc. When I tried to find out information about the Coptic wedding ceremony, all I found was American Coptic weddings. It's hard to find good info about the modern day Copts in Egypt. But, when I go, I'll have a first hand look, and will myself, be a Copt in Egypt I'll have to keep you guys updated on new things I learn and experience.

I have heard about the tensions between the Muslims and the Copts, but Peter and I haven't really discussed the Coptic view. We have discussed current events, like the church bombing, a church fire that happened earlier this year, and a train shooting. But, I can tell you than when discussing it, he never went on a rant blaming anyone. I know he and his family have many Muslim friends...for instance, his sister's best friend is Muslim, and she is like part of the family, like a sister and daughter. I know there are definitely prejudices, and I know Peter and his family have experienced some "bullying" before, but that is with both religions. There are peacemakers and radicals on both sides. This makes me think of a picture I once posted on my facebook...

And about your post getting erased, that's happened a few times to me I type up a nice long post, then when I hit send, something happens and poof, it's gone. I refresh or go back, and still gone! So, now, I've gotten in the habit of copying before I post lol...just in case. Fingers crossed I don't have to retype this one! hehe

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 6:58 pm

Love

this pic Ashley ^^^ Very Happy

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 7:27 pm

Love the pic too

YallaBina wrote:: [b][size=12]

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:31 pm

Aww, that's a GREAT picture!

Haha, we should make it a habit to copy and paste our posts so that in the event it gets erased, we just have to paste it again. Razz

I'm glad that you haven't heard a lot of negative stuff from Peter regarding the different religions. Honestly, I didn't meet a single nice Coptic Christian in Egypt, but I'm not so dumb as to assume they are all (or even most) like that!! I just had some bad experiences, which is EXACTLY what the forum disapproves of; judging all by one or two negative experiences. Smile

I wish that I could offer you any information about the Coptic Christians in Egypt, but the truth is, I know pretty much nothing. I know that I had friends from Russia and Ukraine who went to the Coptic Christian church in Egypt, so I might could get some information from them about how it was (I asked when I lived there, but don't remember what they said). I know that they said something about having to kiss a glass box with a stone in it. Heard anything about that? That might be worth looking into.

That's so funny about the word ishta/eshta (is it just me and my need for grammatically correct things, or does it drive everyone crazy that words are spelled in so many different ways that you feel like you're typing it wrong if you don't include every variety of spelling?). I can't believe that that would be considered bad! Haha, and yes, magnoon as in crazy. My husband asked me to stop saying it outloud, because he was getting so offended. I feel that way about some words in English, but I think you're right that it just might be who lives where. I've seen Amber (Amber, where are you?) use it many times with her fiance, and he doesn't have a problem with it, lol. I know that my husband always tells me that Egypt has so many different cultures, like Cairo is different than the villages, and etc. as I talked about before. Never really considered that that meant slang was also different, but it makes sense!

Learning new things every day. Egyptian Flag

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 9:58 pm

Kiss a glass box? Haven't heard about that one yet! I think it's going to be quite a change from the Baptist churches I'm used to attending But, I will probably only go there for my wedding. Peter and his family are Coptic, but they attend a protestant church...similar to our churches here.

It is funny that Egypt is so different depending on where you are. I mean, it's understandable, seeing as how here in America, the South is different than the North...and East is different than the West. It's just that Egypt seems so small compared to the US, so it's crazy to think that within a 4 hour drive (probably more like 20 minutes) things can change so much! Tell Mo I'm sorry if we offended him with the "M" word LOL. Peter's brother calls me that all the time, so I'm used to hearing it thrown around. Never knew that it was considered bad by some. And about eshta, Peter says it is bad to say because guys use it to talk about girls. Like saying they are sexy and so beautiful and so white. He didn't like it lol. He asked me where I learned this word. Maybe he thought a guy said it to me??? LOL

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 10:16 pm

I agree!! Yes in english translation there are always different spellings and meanings of Egyptian arabic words..drives me nuts lol Just yesterday I was telling my love "I love you sooooooooo much my shib shib " which from what I had learned meant slipper...and yes that sounds silly , but If I think the word sounds cute, that will be his pet name for a day or two LOL.. (Which I think mish mish has lasted longer than two days lol) back to what I was saying.... When I told him he was my shib shib... He told me when you say it this way that you are actually saying " He is my nothing" that he means nothing to me.... Shocked

Guess I need to ask before i start blurting out words I learn on websites and forums LOL One time when he came home I thought I would surprise him with my new phrase of the day " Eshta aleek ya maleem" He was like what?????????? Where did you get this from????( from what I have learned this is not a polite thing to say if you are Egyptian) Shocked

I still don't know the complete translation of this phrase, but I do know I am not to say it out in public LOL... He does not care if I say it around him. He laughs sooooooooooo much when I say it.I love to hear him laugh I love you

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Mon Sep 05, 2011 10:41 pm

Thank you Ashley for sharing your experiences Very Happy

I had once asked my love questions about the Coptic religion etc. He wasn't comfortable answering my questions because he did not know the correct answers. He told me to ask and he will find out the correct information for me. I thought this was very sweet of him Very Happy

This made me love him even more I love you

It showed me what beautiful person he really is Very Happy

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:30 am

Sooooooooo...About those Mother-In-Laws hehehe lol!

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Tue Sep 06, 2011 10:29 am

First I want to say that I think both of you are awesome!! and I am happy to be a member of such a positive forum.

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Tue Sep 06, 2011 6:13 pm

lanita1000 wrote:: First I want to say that I think both of you are awesome!! and I am happy to be a member of such a positive forum.

Thanks Anita! You're awesome also! And you too Claire!

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Tue Sep 06, 2011 8:12 pm

Tah-Duh!!! Wink

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Tue Sep 06, 2011 8:47 pm

Misr_is_Love wrote:: Tah-Duh!!!

hahahaha Yippee!

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Tue Sep 06, 2011 8:48 pm

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:30 pm

LOVE IT

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Wed Sep 07, 2011 9:15 pm

Did I mention that my mother-in-law used to (before Mohamed and I got married) call me to the TV in utter excitement everytime a wedding was shown on a show or music video? She would say, "You... you and Mohamed!!!" telling me that one day that would be us, lol.

Subject: Re: Egyptian Mother-in-laws Thu Sep 08, 2011 12:17 am

Misr_is_Love wrote:: Did I mention that my mother-in-law used to (before Mohamed and I got married) call me to the TV in utter excitement everytime a wedding was shown on a show or music video? She would say, "You... you and Mohamed!!!" telling me that one day that would be us, lol.

Awwww, that's too cute! At least your MIL was focusing on the wedding. My MIL has skipped the wedding and is talking about babies! Almost every time we talk the discussion ends with "I can't wait for you to have a little Ashley and little Peter" (Well, she always says Little Ashley, and I have to tell her that a little Peter (hehe) would be nice also). Last week when we were talking she said this and adds, "I hope by this time next year." Peter and I just laughed because obviously, that's not possible with me here and him there LOL. I love Egyptian Mamas. And it's so nice that we can talk about these things...like weddings and babies...and 80% of the time it's the Egyptian man bringing it up. In America, we have to keep our mouths shut for fear of running off our men LOL.

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